A Sad Girls Intuition
by Moony'sWhiteWolf416
Summary: Selena a six year Gryffindor at Hogwarts is having a horrible time, but when her and a certain Marauder develop a friendship will it become more? RLOC
1. Thoughts and Promises

Selena walked along the empty corridor talking in the night air. It was almost eleven o'clock but she didn't care. She was thinking, again, about the extraordinary marauders. They had, yet again, gotten into mischief today, except for Remus, and were doing detention with McGonagall this very minute. She turned a corner and decided that she would take a quite walk around the lake before she went back to the Gryffindor tower. As she walked she looked at the moon. Almost full. She would leave tomorrow to go home only to be locked in the back yard shed for her transformation. She only wished there were someone that understood her.Selena climbed through the portrait hole after mumbling the password. She decided to stay in the common room for a while before going to bed. She stared into the fire watching the flames flicker. Life for her wasn't good at all. But luckily most of her time was spent at hogwarts where there wasn't much time for friends, not that she had any. It was better than it would have been at home though. She was now in her six year and she was reflecting on if her life would be any less depressing if she didn't have muggles for parents. Just then the marauders, apparently just through with detention, walked through the portrait hole talking quietly to each other, but when they noticed her they went silent. They stole quick glances at her, but didn't say anything until they were out of earshot. Selena knew people talked about her, but she didn't care. It would give them something to do.

Looking out his window from the tower Remus saw Selena doing her rounds like every other night. Remus knew she was a werewolf. He had figured it out and then Dumbledore had confirmed it. He didn't think she knew about him, but he could only guess. He continued to watch her walk as she headed back toward the castle. Then his thoughts drifted to tomorrows full moon as he waited for the others to return from detention.When James, Sirius, and Peter closed the door to the dorm they all started talking at once. Remus gave them a curious glance James mumbled that Selena was in the Common Room as though that explained it all. It was then Remus decided he would talk to her sometime. She didn't have any friends and he felt bad for her. After the transformation and they both felt better he promised himself he would talk to her.


	2. Memories

Selena stayed in the common room until 5:30 the next morning. She hadn't been able to sleep. Today she would head home just to be treated like the animal she was. Maybe since she stayed up so late last night she would sleep somewhat tonight instead of clawing herself to pieces like she normally did. She took off her robe and looked at her arms and legs. She had numerous scars up and down her body. As she traced them she remember specific things about each one. She lifted her shirt to reveal a long white mark that started right below her rib and ran sideways and downwards. It seemed to wrap around her body. It finally ended at the middle of her lower back. It was from her first transformation. Pulling her shirt back down. She looked at her legs. You had to look closely to notice the ones there, but they were existent. She closed her eyes tight. When she opened them she looked at her arms. There were many cuts on her arms, many cuts that weren't made by the wolf.

**Flash Back**

The pain in her head was excruciating. She heard him coming again, but before she could get up all the way he had punched her in the stomach. She fell, scolding herself for crying. He came at her again this time he kicked her in the head. She blacked out but not before she heard her dad saying proudly that he had taken care of the monster.

**End Flash Back**

She wiped the tears from her eyes and decided to go change and get to Dumbledore's office before anyone woke up. She took the stairs to the girl's dorm two by two. She quietly opened the door and stepped in. She grabbed a pair of black jeans and T-shirt. After changing she grabbed her book on werewolves, threw it in her satchel and headed out the door. She paused at the top of the stairs. Something came over her. She jumped lept down the stairs and crossed the common room in three strides. She threw open the portrait hole and jumped through stumbling a little. She raced down the stairs. She didn't know why, but she had to run. Suddenly she just had to run.

_**Stained, looking at my hands  
I talk with these lines  
It's not the answer  
I'm crying and I now I know  
Looking the sky  
I search for an answer  
So free, free to be  
I'm not another liar  
I just want to be myself...myself**_

And now the beat inside of me  
Is a sort of a cold breeze and I've  
Never any feeling inside  
Around me...  
I Bring my body  
Carry it into another world  
I know I live...but like a stone I'm falling down

Damned, looking into the sky  
I can feel this rain  
Right now it's falling on me  
Fly, I just want to fly  
Life is all mine  
Some days I cry alone,  
But I know I'm not the only one  
I see that another day is gone  
I don't want to die...  
Please be here when I arrive, don't die...please

When she couldn't run any more she found herself at the lake. She knelt down and with all her might she threw her fists into the ground. The tears were streaming down her face by now and she was unable to stop them. She hated her mom and her dad and Hogwarts and everyone that attended it, but most of all she hated her self. She let out a scream. She sat there crying for what seemed like forever. Before a gentle voice broke her out of her daze.

"Ms. Alexander"

Selena turned around to find a concerned looking Dumbledore looking at her. She wiped the tears from her eyes, she was embarrassed for him to see her like this, although she didn't know why.

"Come, Ms. Alexander," he said, "it's best we get you home."

"Yes, sir"

Selena stood up with quite a bit of trouble and they headed off to Dumbledore's office, neither speaking a word.


	3. Realizations and Heading Home

By the time they reached Dumbldore's office Selena had stopped crying completely. He uttered "lemon drops" and the stone gargoyle moved sideways revealing the stairway to his office. As they stepped up the stairs and opened the big oak door Selena realized that her parents would be here soon. This thought only made her feel worse. They both stepped into Dumbledore's office. All the portraits were sound asleep. Only now did she steal a glance at the clock. It was fifteen till seven. Fawkes stood on his perch staring intently at Selena. She laid her satchel next to Dumbledore's desk which was cluttered with different objects many of which she didn't recognize. There was a knock on the door. Dumbledore went to answer it. After peering out the door her turned to look at her.

"Surely, Ms. Alexander, you won't mind me stepping out for a moment."

"No, sir" she answered knowing he wold have stepped out with or without and answer.

She could here voices, but she couldn't tell who else was out there or what they were saying. She walked over behind his desk to an old mirror. She gazed at herself attentively. Her long strait black hair shined as it continued down to her middle back. She had a pale, but clear complexion, but the most exceptional feature about her was her eyes. They were breathtaking, the lightest of browns. Her honey color of her eyes were a side effect of her lycanthropy. She had always thought she had a nice chest, a c-cup. She had a narrow waist, but she wasn't a scrawny and wide hip.

"Thank you for waiting, Ms. Alexander,"

Selena turned around to find that Dumbledore had returned from his chat with who ever.

"Mr. Lupin just wanted to return this book he borrowed specifically from me. He flopped the book down on his desk.

"Please have a seat,"

"Yes, sir"

"Your parents will be here shortly," he said calmly.

She felt as though something was constricting her around the stomach.

"Ms. Alexander, I can't help but feel as though your home life isn't as you pretend it to be."

Selena simply lowered her head. There was a knock on the door. Selena scented her parents.

"Remember, I am always here for you, Selena" he said getting up to answer the door.

"Yes, Sir" she answered trying to ready herself for her parents show they put on every time they came to get her.

"Why hello, Mr. And Mrs. Alexander, how nice to see you again. Selena could hear the disgust in his voice although he was doing very well to cover it up.

She felt to pairs of arms wrap around her.

"Oh we've missed you so much," said her mom acting the best she could which wasn't that great.

Her dad just stood there looking annoyed. "Come on, Martha, bring the girl," he finally said.

She wasn't Selena, or his daughter, or even the child, no she was just _the_ _girl_. Her mom grabbed her wrist and pulled her up as though she couldn't get up on her own. She yanked her arm out of her mom's grasp ignoring the look it earned her from her dad. She walked over to Dumbledore's desk to get her satchel, which sat, in the floor leaning up against on of the legs. She grabbed it and when she straitened up she noticed the book lying on the corner of the desk, the one Remus had returned. The Complete Book of Werewolves by Ashley Leonard. At that moment everything clicked.

That day she bumped into him and noticed his eyes, why they were so much like hers… why his friends called him Moony…why he always had to make up missed work when she did…why he seemed so different…

She snapped her head in Dumbledore's direction only to find him smiling. Selena collapsed into the closest chair. ' 'Oh my God' how did I not notice? All the clues and signals and I…

"Selena let's go!"

"You can borrow it, Ms. Alexander" Dumbledore said as though he was reading her mind.

"Thank you, sir" she said.

"I also suggest that upon your arrival back that you have a little chat with Mr. Lupin."

"You mean he knows…"

"Yes, now run along,"

Selena scampered past her dumbfounded parents and out the door. She couldn't wait to start reading the book. She usually hated reading, but books about her condition she didn't mind. They headed to the Quidditch pitch to find a quffle lying in the middle of the large field. They headed to the usual portkey. It was to risky to use floo power in Dumbledore's office incase someone traced it back to Hogwarts. They all touched it at once without a signal from each other. They had done this many times before. After a few moments they found them selves in their back yard. Selena started to walk towards to two-story house when an unsuspecting fist struck her in the head. She fell to the ground and when she landed there was a loud air-splitting crack. She had landed sideways on her arm. As much as she wanted to scream, as much as she wanted to cry she held it back. She wouldn't give him that pleasure.

"I don't know what you and that old man were trying to pull back there but I didn't like it one bit. You hear!" He yelled.

She didn't answer. That made him even madder. He kicked her in the back and then in the head before pulling her to her feet and throwing her into the backyard shed. She let the tears flow freely as she cradled her broken arm. She slowly clambered over to the worn out mattress her mom had provided her. She curled up and went to sleep. She woke up about six and couldn't go back to sleep. She decided that she would try to read some before her transformation. She got up carefully and grabbed her satchel and pulled out the book. She laid back down and opened to chapter one…


	4. Im with you

After reading for a couple hours she glanced at her clock. It was seven forty seven. She would transform at exactly eight seventeen. She stood up carefully so not to hurt her arm. She had a terrible time undressing. She squirmed out of her jeans and very gently using one arm pulled her shirt over her head. Then she pulled off her underwear and bra. Instead of folding then up, which would have been almost impossible anyway, She just gathered them up and exchanged them for a robe on top of an old dresser in the corner of the shed. After covering herself with the robe, that was much to big, she settled back down on the mattress. It was now eight o'clock. She had seventeen minutes. Oh what she would give if she didn't have to do this every month. She just wanted to be normal, like everyone else. But then she thought about Remus. He wasn't normal… he was like her. But before she could get any deeper into that thought it started. She closed her eyes and held her breath. Her bones began to grow and crack, and then her muscles pull and tighten. She threw her head back and cried out as the tears spilled down her cheeks. She felt her flesh stretching until she thought it would rip. Her nose and mouth lengthened into a muzzle and her eyes dilated. The pain was unbearable. She cried out again willing it to stop. More tears came and she didn't try to hold them back. Everything came to a stop…She collapsed on the mattress wide-eyed and fearful. She tilted her head back and howled.

She laid her head back down and was about to go to sleep when she was answered. Not by a dog, but by another werewolf. She jumped up and it took her a second to realize what had happened. She howled again. And once again she was answered. She walked over to the door there must be a way to get out. She jumped up and clawed the door. It was locked. There was only one window and it was boarded up. She went to lay back down when she noticed a crack in the floorboard in the corner. She walked over to it and put one paw on it… it was loose she grabbed it with her mouth and with all her might she pulled. It came loose in her mouth and she laid it aside. She started to dig. After about forty-five minutes she had reached the other side. She threw her head back confidently and let out a long sonnet and she was once again answered. She started to walk away when she heard a noise. It was the sound of someone cocking a gun. Her father stood in the doorway with a shotgun on his shoulder.

"How did you get out?" he said questioningly. "Oh well"

He aimed the gun and luckily Selena jumped out of the way just in time. He shot again and Selena took off. After she was away from the house she stopped running. She closed her eyes and set her mind back to the task she was trying to accomplish. She howled again. When she was headed she could tell she was headed in the right direction. She picked up her pace.

_**I'm Standing on a bridge  
I'm waitin in the dark  
I thought that you'd be here by now  
Theres nothing but the rain  
No footsteps on the ground  
I'm listening but theres no sound **_

She was starting to get tired but she continued on. She howled again to check her position. After changing direction a little she started to pick up the pace again.

_**Isn't anyone tryin to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home  
It's a damn cold night  
Trying to figure out this life **_

She had been walking for a long time. She was growing tried by the minute. She stumbled and fell. A howl shattered the night air but it wasn't hers. It was as if the other wolf knew and her wanted her to keep going__

**_Wont you take me by the hand  
take me somewhere new  
I dont know who you are   
but I... I'm with you_**

She picked herself up and trudged on not knowing where she was going or why, she just felt as though she had to.

_**im looking for a place  
searching for a face  
is anybody here i know  
cause nothings going right  
and everythings a mess  
and no one likes to be alone **_

It was now early morning and she needed to get back home. If she didn't then she couldn't get back to Hogwarts. She couldn't get there on her own and she didn't know anyone who went there. With one last sniff in that direction she turned and headed the other way. The wolf howled again. It took all her might to keep walking away. After a minute she broke into a sprint toward the direction called 'home'.

_**Isn't anyone tryin to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home  
It's a damn cold night  
Trying to figure out this life   
Wont you take me by the hand  
take me somewhere new  
I dont know who you are  
but I... I'm with you**_

She reached her house in a matter of hours and climbed through the hole she had dug, threw the dirt and floor board back in place, and walked over to the mattress. The sun was coming up and she readied herself for the transformation back. If hurt just the same but her bones were shrinking and so were her muscles and skin. Luckily it wasn't nearly as long as the other. After it was over she went to move clearly forgetting about having the burden of a broken arm again, and accidentally moved it the wrong way. She shut her eyes tight trying to push the pain out of her mind without much luck. She was to absorbed in the pain to hear the rattle of the door's locks. The door swung open to reveal her dad standing in the doorway.


	5. Back to Hogwarts

She tried to back away but she was too weak and he was to quick. He swiftly made his way across the room to where she was. She closed her eyes and waited for him to swing but instead he grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled her to her feet, hurting her arm as he did so. So almost cried out but she held it in. He jerked her out of the shed and on into the house where he threw her on the floor in the kitchen in front of her mother. He undid his belt around hi waist and struck her. He continued to strike her until she bled. When he finally stopped because of her mom complaining he was getting blood on the floor her threw her back outside and said that they would be leaving for Hogwarts as soon as he got cleaned up. She gathered herself from the ground with much care to her broken arm and walked to the shed. She grabbed a rag from a shelf, spat on it and continued to clean herself off. She then gather her clothes from off of the dresser and put the on quickly. The door opened and her dad was standing in the doorway.

"Get out here, now!" he yelled.

She walked over to her dad, looked up at him and then continued out the doorway. She felt a fist shoved into her back and she stumbled, but regained he balance and continued to an old rusty bucket that sat in the middle of the yard. Her dad had stopped walking she glanced at him. "Go on," he said clearly embarrassed to face Dumbledore with her looking like this.

She touched the portkey welcoming the feeling that she would once again be back at Hogwarts. At least for another month's peace from her parents before heading back to the hell hole once again. She found herself on the Quidditch pitch, but no one was practicing as it was still early. She started her walk to Dumbledore's office feeling the pain in her arm everytime she took a step. Once she was facing the oak door she didn't know how she was going to explain her self even though deep down she knew that he knew what was going on. She lifted the unbroken arm to knock but before it even reached to dark oak door a voice was heard.

"Come in Ms. Alexander, don't just stand there all day,"

She slowly opened the door and slowly continued to his desk. He didn't look the slightest bit surprised, which actually made her a bit mad. "

Ms. Alexander would you please excuse yourself to the hospital wing and when you are feeling better I will consider visiting you so that we can discuss some matters."

"Yes, sir"

She exited his office and continued to the hospital wing. When she got there she didn't bother to knock she just opened the doors and walked right in. She froze. Lying in a bed was Remus Lupin. And not only that but he was surrounded by James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, _and_ Lily Evans who was earning affectionate looks. That was at least until she walked in. She had a cut starting on her forehead that stretched across her eye and down to her cheek. There were many other small cuts and gashes on her face. There were a few larger ones on her arms and legs. And there was also the fact that she was completely covered in blood. Oh and her clearly visible broken arm. She had stopped when she noticed Remus and his fan club, but when the door slammed shut they all looked up. They all looked panic stricken. Remus jumped out of bed and rushed over to a door in the back corner and barged right in. The rest of them looked frozen. A few moments later Remus emerged with Madam Pomfry. It wasn't until now that Selena noticed Remus was shirtless but wrapped all over in bandages. Before she could get any more in depth in the thought Madam Pomfry shouted for the fan club to leave and for Selena to come with her.

"Mr. Lupin would you mind pulling your curtains and giving us some privacy."

"No Madam Pomfry," he said pulling the curtains around his bed.

Madam Pomfry helped Selena out of her shirt and pants. She gasp when she was the belt marks. Selena heard Remus listen in the four poster bed across the room.

"These are belt marks," Selena heard Remus tense at those words. "Ms. Alexander who do something like this to you"

Selena stared at the ground for a moment before quietly replying.

"My father," she whispered. She heard Remus tense even more. She felt the tears burning her eyes. Before long they were spilling down her cheeks. Madam Pomfry went to a dresser and got her a nightgown.

"This may sting some," she said uttering some spells. When she was finished Selena touched her back it was still sore but the skin wasn't split open. Then Madam Pomfry got to work on the cuts and gashes. Then last but not least there was her arm.

"I'm guessing he did this too," she said.

"Yes," It was all she could say.

Madam Pomfry walked over to a cupboard and poured a glass full of liquid and handed it to Selena.

"Drink it. It will fix that break."

"Thank you," she said.

She drank the liquid in one gulp. Put that gown on, the one I lied on that bed and then you need to lay down and get some sleep. She didn't even think of disagreeing, she was so tired. She quickly, but carefully, threw on the gown, so far the medicine had just numbed it, and continued over to the bed beside Remus's. She lay down and within in minutes she was asleep.


	6. A Secret Revealed

_**She could feel the keys of the grand piano as she played. Each one echoed a certain note. They were strung together in a familiar song. One she knew by heart. She came to the first verse and her voice filled the air.** _

_**Another day has almost come and gone  
can't imagine what else could wrong  
Sometimes I'd like to hide away somewhere and lock the door  
A single battle lost but not the war **_

_**tomorrow's another day  
And I'm thirsty anyway  
So bring on the rain**_

_**it's almost like the hard times circle round  
A couple drops and they all start coming down  
Yeah, I might feel defeated,  
I might hang my head  
I might be barely breathing - but I'm not dead**_

_**tomorrow's another day  
And I'm thirsty anyway  
So bring on the rain**_

_**I'm not gonna let it get me down  
I'm not gonna cry  
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight**_

_**She held out the last note for a dramatic effect and when she finally let it slip completely from her lips applause filled the air.**_

She opened her eyes to see the sunlight streaming in from outside. She glanced at the clock on the wall… almost nine. As if on command Madam Pomfry walked over to the bed.

"How do you feel?"

"Good I guess," Selena answered.

"The Head Master wishes to speak with you."

"Yes Ma'am,"

She sat up and swung her legs to the side of the bed. She stood up slowly and walked to the door. She noticed that Remus had apparently left this morning, as his bed was empty. On her way to Dumbledore's office she decide she would take one of her detour strolls around the lake before heading off to speak with him. She was sure he wouldn't mind. She started thinking about her dream. It had been ages since she had sung. She was filled with a sudden desire to do so again. 'No'she told herself as she tried to push it out of her mind. But it wouldn't go. She stopped walking looking around to make sure no one could hear her. She closed her eyes and let her heart take over.

_**If I live to be a hundred  
And never see the seven wonders  
That'll be alright  
If I don't make it to the big leagues  
If I never win a grammy  
I'm gonna be just fine  
'cause I know exactly who I am **_

_**I am rosemary's granddaughter  
The spitting image of my father  
And when the day is done  
My momma's still my biggest fan  
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy  
But I've got friends that love me  
And they know just where I stand  
It's all a part of me  
**_

_**And that's who I am**_

_**So when I make a big mistake  
When I fall flat on my face  
I know I'll be alright  
Should my tender heart be broken  
I will cry those teardrops knowin'  
I will be just fine  
'cause nothin' changes who I am**_

_**I am rosemary's granddaughter  
The spitting image of my father  
And when the day is done  
My momma's still my biggest fan  
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy  
But I've got friends that love me  
And they know just where I stand  
It's all a part of me  
And that's who I am**_

_**I'm a saint and I'm a sinner  
I'm a loser, I'm a winner  
I'm steady and unstable  
I'm young but I am able**_

_**I am rosemary's granddaughter  
The spitting image of my father  
And when the day is done  
My momma's still my biggest fan  
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy  
But I've got friends that love me  
And they know where I stand  
It's all a part of me  
And that's who I am**_

_**I am rosemary's granddaughter  
The spitting image of my father  
And when the day is done  
My momma's still my biggest fan  
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy  
But I've got friends that love me  
And they know where I stand  
It's all a part of me  
And that's who I am**_

When she finished that song she felt, even after everything that had happened, that life couldn't get any better. She continued walking around the lake and with out even noticing she started singing again this time, though, she put not only her heart into it but her soul also.

_**I don't need a lot of things  
I can get by with nothing  
Of all the blessings life can bring  
I've always needed something  
But I've got all I want  
When it comes to loving you  
You're my only reason  
You're my only truth**_

_**I need you like water  
Like breath, like rain  
I need you like mercy  
From heaven's gate  
There's a freedom in your arms  
That carries me through  
I need you**_

_**You're the hope that moves me  
To courage again  
You're the love that rescues me  
When the cold winds, rage  
And it's so amazing  
'cause that's just how you are  
And I can't turn back now  
'cause you've brought me too far**_

_**I need you like water  
Like breath, like rain  
I need you like mercy  
From heaven's gate  
There's a freedom in your arms  
That carries me through  
**_

_**I need you  
Oh yes I do**_

_**I need you like water  
Like breath, like rain  
I need you like mercy  
From heaven's gate  
There's a freedom in your arms  
That carries me through  
I need you  
Oh yes I do  
I need you  
I need you**_

She held the note out as long as possible as she headed away from the lake towards Dumbledore's office in the happiest mood she had been in since… well as far back as she could remember.

* * *

Remus stepped out from behind the tree once he knew she was gone for sure. He had never heard anyone sing as she had. Whether it was because she had found the one thing that could make her happy or if it was just the way she put her heart and soul into it, it didn't matter. It was still beautiful. With her voice echoing in his mind he ran off to the common room to await the arrival of the others, and to tell them that he had found the most gifted student in Hogwart's history. 


	7. New Friends

She was practically skipping to Dumbledore's office, wondering why her wanted to see her, while humming a song by a muggle artist. She turned the corner and started to actually sing.

**_I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly  
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky  
I'll make a wish  
Take a chance  
Make a change  
And breakaway  
Out of the darkness and into the sun  
But I won't forget all the ones that I love  
I'll take a risk  
Take a chance   
Make a change  
And breakaway_**

She mumbled the password and then continued to hum the song as she headed up to the big oak door. She knocked waiting for an answer.

"Come in,"

"Madam Pomfry said that you wanted to see me sir,"

"Indeed,"  
"She has told me what you told her about your parents, your dad in particular, and I find it unnecessary for you to return to that house until summer."

"Yes, sir, but that means my transformations will need to be done here."

"Yes I have discussed this with some teachers and they agree that, for now,

You can transform in the Forbidden Forest. We will have someone escort you to a proper location, but you must return to it before sunrise so as not to endanger yourself, do you understand."

"Yes, sir"

"That is all for now. I will explain more when the full moon is closer."

"Yes, sir," she said leaving the room.

She walked down the stairs and decided she would use the rest of her free day usefully. She headed off to the library to finish her potions essay.

After reading and writing for almost three hours she decided to take a break. She was happy with the work she had finished, which included the rest of her potions essay, reading four chapters for Care of Magical Creatures, and another astrology chart, which she was very good at. She closed the books and put them back on the self and she headed back to the common room. She started humming again.

_**  
If I had just one tear rollin' down your cheek  
Maybe I could cope  
Maybe I'd get some sleep  
If I had just one moment at your expense  
Maybe all my misery would be well spent **_

_**Yeah**_

Could you cry a little  
Lie just a little  
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain  
I gave, now I'm wanting something in return  
So cry just a little for me 

_**  
If your love could be caged  
Honey I would hold the key  
And conceal it underneath  
The pile of lies you've handed me  
And you'd hunt those lies  
They'd be all you'd ever find  
That'd be all you'd have to know  
For me to be fine**_

Yeah

And you'd cry a little  
And die just a little  
And maybe I would feel just a little less pain  
I gave, now I'm wanting something in return  
So cry just a little for me

Give it up baby  
I hear your doin' fine  
Nothings gonna' save me  
Til I see it in your eyes  
Some kind of heartache honey  
Give it a try  
I don't want pity  
I just want what is mine

_**Yeah**_

Would you cry a little  
Lie just a little  
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain  
I gave, now I'm wanting something in return  
So cry just a little for me

Yeah

Cry just a little for me  
Whoa whoa  
Could you cry a little for me  
hmmm yeah yeah 

A sad feeling settled into her stomach. She fell to the floor as she burst into tears. Her family used to be so whole and so complete before she was bitten. Her mom wasn't drunk all the time and her dad wasn't abusive. It was her fault if she hadn't gotten bit it would have been ok. She felt an arm on her back, at first she thought her dad, as she wasn't thinking clearly, but her dad wouldn't be that gentle. She looked up to find a concerned looking Lily Evans kneeling beside her. She started to pull away but something made her stop. More tears came as Lily gathered her in her arms and rocked her back and forth telling her it would be ok until she finally fell asleep.

She woke up in a dorm room…but it wasn't her own. There were four beds instead of just two. It was then she released she was in the boys dorm. She scrambled out of bed and hurried head out the door only to find Lily and the four mischief-makers in the common room by themselves. She walked down not looking away from her shoes.

"It's nice to see you up," said Lily.

Selena just stood there. She knew she looked stupid but she didn't care. After a while she decided to say something.

"Uh why was I…"

But before she could finish Lily did it for her.

"In the guys dorm? Because Sirius carried you up here after you feel asleep and since he couldn't get into the girls dorm, of course because of the charm placed on the stairs he went ahead and carried you up to their dorm and Remus lent you his bed.

"Thank you," she said slightly nodding at both of them as she seated herself in the closest available chair.

She turned to look at Sirius. He certainly was as everyone said the 'sex god' of Hogwarts. He had longish slightly above shoulder length raven black hair with a clear complexion and breath taking icy blue eyes. He was now wearing a black tight fitting long sleeved shirt and a pair of tight jeans. Next was James. The first thing you noticed was the unruly black hair. He had pretty dark brown eyes and a nice extremely nice build from playing Quiddich. Then Peter…he was short and round and had short blondish brown hair. He was the ordinary looking marauder. Last but not least of the Marauders was Lupin, Remus Lupin, a fellow werewolf. A few scars were visible but not many. He had shaggy dirty blond hair and honey colored eyes just like Selena. He was sort of pale but it seemed to fit him. His cheeks and nose were naturally a little pinker than the rest of him which gave him a blushed look. Last was Lily, she had the brightest green eyes Selena had ever seen. They sparkled in the firelight. Her red hair curled half way down her back and her body was nice and sculpted. Selena saw why James liked her. She decided that she would head on back to her dorm and go ahead and go to sleep. She was still a little tired a decided to get a head start on sleep.

"I think I'll go ahead and go on up bed, ok, Lily,"

"Ok, I'll be up in a little while."

"Goodnight everyone"

They all said goodnight as she headed up to her dorm. She changed out of her clothes and grabbed her nightgown from the closet. After throwing it on she flopped down on her bed on closed her eyes. After just a few seconds Lily came in. She grabbed her nightgown and walked to the bathroom. Soon Lily's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Remus says you sing good,"

Selena shot upwards… possibly a little to fast considering the fact that she flipped off the bed.

"What!" she yelled rubbing her aching head and shoulder.

"Yeah, he said he heard you singing over by the lake earlier today."

Great just, great! Now they're going to make fun of me.

Lily's head popped out from inside the bathroom. "Mind if you give me a sneak peak?"

Did she actually want to hear her sing?

"Um I don't know Lily."

"Oh please…" she begged.

"Fine alright," Selena gave in.

Selena tried to think of a good song to sing. One that Lily could relate to.

She closed her eyes and opened her mouth and let her heart sing 

_**Every night in my dreams  
I see you. I feel you.  
That is how I know you go on.**_

Far across the distance  
And spaces between us  
You have come to show you go on.

Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
Once more you open the door  
And you're here in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time  
And last for a lifetime  
And never go till we're one

Love was when I loved you  
One true time I hold to  
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
Once more you open the door  
And you're here in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on

There is some love that will not  
go away

You're here, there's nothing I fear,  
And I know that my heart will go on  
We'll stay forever this way  
You are safe in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on 

When she opened her eyes again Lily had tears running down her face.

"Was I that bad," Selena asked trying to lighten the mood.

"You… You were… You were wonderful."

"I just wish I had somewhere to practice by my self where no one could interrupt me. Lily's eyes grew wide.

"Wait here I'll be right back," and with that she left the room.


	8. The Perfect Place

They were all five walking down the hallway. Lily wanted to show her something. They appeared at this black stretch of hallway and they all stopped.

"Ok Lily," said, "Look what you need to do is concentrate on what you want. While you forewords, backwards, and then forewords again say it over each time you walk past this part of the wall."

"Umm… Ok."

Selena walked over to the wall and started to walk forward. 'Um I need a place to sing. I need a place to sing. I need….' Remus was looking at her intently. When she walked by the third time there was no door.

"Try it again and really focus," said Lily.

She tried it again and the third time when she turned to face the wall there was a door. Selena turned to look at Lily.

"Go ahead," Lily said.

Selena approached the door with caution. When she gripped the doorknob she turned to see everyone behind her looking curious. Lily and Remus were the only ones that knew about her voice. When she open the little brown door in front of her she grabbed Remus's robes to keep from falling over. The room slanted downward to a small stage. And on that stage was a microphone and off to the side, a big black grand piano. Also leaned up against a stand in the other corned was a 12 String Ruby Burst Electric/Acoustic guitar. When she was little she often locked herself up in the attic, where she discovered an old keyboard and an acoustic guitar, and played for hours at a time. She had taught herself to play and couldn't read music, but if she memorized a song it wouldn't take her long to pick out the keys on both the piano and guitar. Also there was a booth to record at with a CD and cassette player. And for decoration there was magenta curtains that framed the stage. She took a tentative step into the room. She was scared it would all disappear. Once she was sure it wouldn't she ran and jumped up on stage. She traced the microphone before inspecting the piano. It was perfect. She turned around before quietly walking over to the guitar. It was a dark blood red color. She picked it up and traced the strings. She set it down carefully before turning to look at Lily. Her and everyone else were walking down to the stage. She ran and pounced on Lily giving her a big hug.

"Thank you so much," Selena whispered as the tears broke loose.

"Don't thank me, thank them," she said.

"Thank you all, I promise I'll pay you back sometime." Selena said.

"Do it now," She turned to face Remus.

"What?" Selena asked.

"You said you would pay us back…sing for us… on stage."

Selena was taken aback. Remus was asking her to sing for them.

"Um…I…I don't know if," but Sirius cut her off.

"Come on, by the way Moony speaks of you, you're by far the best singer at Hogwarts. Come on, give us a show." He said flashing a crooked smile.

She turned to Remus. He was blushing slightly. Selena didn't know if it was because if the nickname or if it was because of something else.

Selena took a deep breath and nodded. Everyone stayed quiet afraid to break the silence. They all walked toward the stage and sat down in the chairs near the front. Selena climbed up on stage and turned her back to them thinking about a song. She walked over to the piano and rolled it toward the center of the stage and the grabbed the microphone and moved it to beside the piano bench. She sat down swiftly but gently pressing her hands on the keys. She once again opened her heart and soul to the people in front of her.

_**How do I,  
Get through one night without you?  
If I had to live without you,  
What kind of life would that be?  
Oh, I  
Need you in my arms, need you to hold,  
You're my world, my heart, my soul,  
If you ever leave,  
baby you would take away everything good in my life,**_

and tell me now  
How do I live without you?  
I want to know,  
How do I breathe without you?  
If you ever go,  
How do I ever, ever survive?  
How do I, how do I,O how do I live?

Without you,  
There'd be no sun in my sky,  
There would be no love in my life,  
There'd be no world left for me.  
And I,  
Baby I don't know what I would do,  
I'd be lost if I lost you,  
If you ever leave,  
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,

And tell me now,  
How do I live without you?  
I want to know,  
How do I breathe without you?  
If you ever go,  
How do I ever, ever survive?  
How do I, how do I,O how do I live?

If you ever leave,  
Baby you would take away everything,  
I need you with me,  
Baby don't you know that you're everything,  
Good in my life?

And tell me now,  
How do I live without you,  
I want to know,  
How do I breathe without you?  
If you ever go,  
How do I ever, ever survive?  
How do I, how do I, how do I live?

How do I live without you

Throughout the song she kept noticing the certain looks Remus was giving her. It was as though… It was as though he was seeing her soul. She was broken out of that thought by the sound of everyone clapping and James and Sirius whooping.

"More," they both shouted.

Selena looked at Lily for a way out but Lily was just smiling.

"Ok… but just one more."

"Yes," they said giving each other a high-five.

She was trying to think of a good song. One that was more… She couldn't find the word. Wait… She had a Karaoke CD in her bag, on the dorm.

"Wait here I'll be right,"

She hurried out of the room checking quickly to make sure no one was in the hallway before she made her way out of the room. She sprinted to the portrait hole yelling the password, not bothering to slow down as she leapt through it. She to the steps to her dorm two at a time and threw open the door. After rummaging through her bags she found the CD she was looking for. She flipped it over and skimmed through the songs listed on the back. When she reached the last one she smiled.


	9. Miss Independence

When she reached the room again she walked forwards, backwards, and forwards again, thinking hard about what she needed. When she turned to face the wall there was the door. She walked over to it quickly and took a deep breath. She opened the door and ran down to where the four of them sat and then over to the booth motioning for Sirius to follow her. She quickly explained how to work the muggle CD played and then headed up on stage. She slid the piano back to its original place and placed to microphone up front. She was smiling uncontrollably by the time she motioned for Sirius to press play. The upbeat intro began play and she let everything fall into place.

_**Miss Independent, Miss Self-Sufficient  
Miss Keep-Your-Distance  
Miss Unafraid, Miss Out-of-My-Way  
Miss Don't-Let-a-Man-Interfere (no)  
Miss On-Her-Own, Miss Almost-Grown  
Miss Never-Let-a-Man-Help-Her-Off-Her-Throne**_

So by keeping her heart protected  
She'd never ever feel rejected  
Little Miss Apprehensive  
Said ooh, she fell in love

What is this feelin' takin' over?  
Thinkin' no one could open the door  
Surprise--it's time  
To feel what's real  
What happened to Miss Independence?  
No longer need to be defensive  
Goodbye, old you  
When love is true

Miss Guarded-Heart, Miss Play-it-Smart  
Miss If-You-Want-to-Use-That-Line-You-Better-Not-Start (no)  
But she miscalculated  
She didn't want to end up jaded  
And this miss decided not to miss out on true love

So by changing her misconceptions  
She went in a new direction  
And found inside she felt a connection  
She fell in love  


_**What is this feelin' takin' over?  
Thinkin' no one could open the door  
Surprise--it's time  
To feel what's real  
What happened to Miss Independence?  
No longer need to be defensive  
Goodbye, old you  
When love is true**_

When Miss Independence walked away  
No time for love that came her way  
She looked in the mirror and thought today  
What happened to Miss No-Longer-Afraid?  
It took some time for her to see  
How beautiful love could truly be  
No more talk of why can't that be me  
I'm so glad I finally see  


_**What is this feelin' takin' over?  
Thinkin' no one could open the door  
Surprise--it's time  
To feel what's real  
What happened to Miss Independence?  
No longer need to be defensive  
Goodbye, old you  
When love is true**_

When she finished no one clapped, everyone just sat gaping at her, except for Remus who was leaning against the chair James was sitting in with a sly smile playing on his face. Selena smiled back at him as their eyes locked. She could feel her heart beating faster. His smile faded. He was doing it again. It was like he was looking at her heart and soul. She had never felt this open to anyone. The others began to whistle and clap.

"Sirius, could you grab my CD," she said breaking the contact to see Sirius nod.

She looked back at Remus, but he wouldn't meet her gaze. James, then walked over to the edge of the stage and offered her a hand to help her down. She took it and hopped down and Lily walked over and gave her a big hug.

"That was amazing,"

"I'll say," said Sirius handing her the CD. Selena put it back in the case as they headed out the door and back to the common room.


	10. Why me?

The next few days passed smoothly without any major interruptions. Her any Lily were now inseparable and hung out as much as possible. The infamous marauders were usually around planning their latest prank or on their way to the kitchen for a late night snack even though it may have been mid afternoon. Selena often asked for James's cloak for either sneaking of to the Room of Requirement or just one of her old timely walks around the lake. She was sitting in the common room with the others, finishing her Care of Magical Creatures essay, when she felt she couldn't take it any more. She closed the book and looked at James. When he caught questioning look he sighed.

"You know where it is," he said with a laugh.

Selena smiled and bounced up the stairs. She made her way through their dorm and over to his trunk. She rummaged through it and found the cloak.

* * *

When she reached the lake she drew in a deep breath and looked around at the beauty surrounding her. She looked across the lake noticing the beauty, but not the disgrace that hunted the world.

* * *

After another hour or so of singing and walking and occasional dancing around the lake she decided to head back to the castle. She walked quietly towards the tower. She thoughts had lately been on Remus. There was something about him she didn't understand. She felt so open to him, like she could tell him everything and he wouldn't care. But she knew that wasn't true. Her life was a disaster and she would never tell anyone about her home life, well personally. It wasn't exactly her fault what he had heard in the hospital that day after the transformation. No one would ever… As she turned the corner she ran into something…no someone. Her back and head collided with the stone floor. She tried to ignore the splitting headache, which wasn't working very well, and trying to stand up at the same time. 'Who would be out this late', she thought pushing herself up.

"Well now look who we have here," said a piercing voice.

Selena pushed herself up the rest of the way and there she stood facing a very happy looking Lucius Malfoy. There were two other Slytherns with him.

"What do you say we have some fun," he said to the others.

Selena was in trouble and she knew it. The others probably went to sleep knowing she would return as always. Her stomach churned as she thought fast about what to do. She knew she wasn't going to call for help and she knew she wouldn't lose, but other then that she was lost. Lucius approached her and turned to his two followers, but in mid sentence he turned unexpectedly back to her and punched her in the jaw. Selena winced and cradled her face. She was never good at fighting but she was good at taking it and she was so mad at herself for that. She was mad at herself for everything. She just wished they would kill her and get her life over with, but then she thought of leaving Remus and she couldn't do that she cared about him to much. She received another fist to the head and she blacked out.

* * *

When she started to come to she knew it was early morning. Probably three or four. She tried to sit up, but gave up after moving her arms. They hurt so bad, so did her head and neck, but what hurt most of all she noticed was her inner thighs. Her eyes flew open and she shot into a sitting position. Tears came to her eyes at the sight in front of her. Her thighs were covered in dried blood and her clothes were thrown about the corridor. She cried and cried before picking herself and what was left of her broken spirit off the floor. She gathered her clothes not bothering to put them on she just wrapped her cloak around her and headed off to the tower hoping it was all a dream. The tears blurred her vision so she had to trust her memory. When she reached the Fat Lady Selena starred at the floor barely able to get the password out of her cracking voice. She scrambled through the hole and was happy to find the common room empty. She stumbled to the couch and sat down thinking about what had happened. Lucius Malfoy had raped her. It wasn't a dream it had happened. She thought about what she use to do. What she use to do after her dad hit her._**Flashback** _

_She tried to stop the tears and finally when they did she threw open her dresser and searched through it finally finding the bag. She opened it to revel a collector's knife. On the handle it had a wolf carved on it. She pulled it out of the case and inspected it. The blade was clean and sharp. She placed it on her inner arm and pushed the blade into her flesh. The blood warm and free flowed down her arm. She removed the blade and walked to her bathroom letting the blood drip to the hardwood floor and then onto the bathroom linoleum. She took a towel and wrapped it around her arm while she cleaned the knife, preparing it for the next occasion._

_**End Flashback**_

When she had first attended Hogwarts she made a promise to herself that she would never cut again, but now she was deeply considering breaking this promise. A creak broke her from her trance. She hugged the cloak, covering her body and then she jerked around to find a worried looking Remus Lupin standing at the top of the stairs.


	11. Terrifying Recollection

Selena let out a tiny yelp as she turned back towards the fire. She glanced nervously around the room trying to think of what to do and fast. She couldn't tell him what really happened. Not about Lucius! She covered every inch of herself that she could with her robe and prepared for the worst. Not even Lily could come up with a convincing story in this situation.

" Selena?"

He was closer… She could tell by his voice.

" Selena, what happened?" he said glancing at her pile of bloody clothes beside the couch.

She was trying to ignore him for as long as possible maybe if she ignored him he would go away. Maybe it would all go away. Maybe it would never have happened. She closed her eyes tight finally realizing he wasn't going to give up. When she open them she couldn't breathe. He was on his knees in front of her, his head slightly tilted and his eyes full of concern. It was the first time she realized she actually had people that cared about her. Her eyes filled with tears. Remus, noticing the tears, climbed up from the floor and sat on the couch beside her. He slowly wrapped his arms around her and just held her, but then after a while he began tracing circles on her back to comfort her. At first contact Selena shuddered, but then after a few moments she relaxed and began to enjoy the comfort. When the tears finally ceased she gathered all her courage and raised her head to look at him. Their eyes locked and she noticed his breath hitch. She looked away. He probably thought of her differently now. She was always being abused and now she had been raped. What would people think of her now? Nothing probably or at least that's what she thought.

"It was Lucius," she whispered.

His honey colored eyes reflected a look of hatred.

"You mean he…"

"Yes," she said cutting him off. She couldn't stand to hear it.

He jumped off the couch and stalked across the Gryffindor common room and up the stairs.

"PRONGS!…PADFOOT!…GET OUT HERE NOW," he yelled pounding on the door.

"Remus _what_ are you doing!" she asked petrified. It was bad enough for him to know. And now he was going to tell James and Sirius!

He walked over to the very edge of the girl's stairs and yelled.

"LILY!… YOU TO."

"REMUS!" great now Lily too. Lily quickly emerged from the dorm. Apparently it wasn't every day Remus was screaming up the stairs at four in the morning. She took one look at Selena and went pale. Lily quickly rushed to her and looked her over.

"What happened,"

"Lucius raped her," Remus answered for her.

Selena flinched at the words. Lily, if it was possible, went even whiter. At this point James and Sirius appeared at the top of the stairs looking very annoyed. There hair was even more messy than usual and they looked tired. They hadn't been sleeping much. Most of the time they had been planning pranks or down at the kitchens. When they noticed Lily, as pale as she was, and Selena, bruised and bloody, they rushed down the stairs.

"What the bloody hell happened?" Sirius asked

Lily was to shocked to even glare at him for cursing.

"Lucius, he rap…" Lily couldn't finish. She burst into tears, but Sirius and James got the Idea.

"Remus, you and Lily get her to the Hospital wing, Sirius fetch my map."

Remus nodded and Lily just continued to cry. Selena knew what they were doing. They were going to track him down and then, well who knows what. She couldn't let them do that cause if they did who knows what kind of trouble they would get into.

"No, Sirius wait!" she yelled.

"We're going to track that bastard down." James said angrily.

"You'll get expelled!" Selena protested.

"It's damn worth it," said Sirius.

"Lets wait until I'm out of the hospital wing, lets plan something big, something he can't blame us for."

"Selena don't," Lily pleaded.

"Lily don't you do this, don't tell me I can't have revenge on someone that did _this_ to me." Selena demanded.

"Ok," Lily sighed.

"In that case we can all escort her." Said Sirius.

They all headed out the Gryffindor common room. It seemed to take forever to reach the Hospital wing, but when they did James began to hammer on the door. After a minute Madam Pomfry opened the doors and on seeing Selena motioned for them to come in.

"Who was it," she asked after rummaging through the cabinet and returning with a tiny bottle.

"Lucius," Selena answered.

Madame Pomfry only nodded and told her to drink from the vial. Then Madam Pomfry went into another room and returned with a little basket of bottles.

Madam Pomfry must have noticed the expression on Selena's face because she some what smiled.

"The first was a pain potion."

"These are for other things,"

Selena knew she meant for not getting pregnant. Selena's eyes watered with tears and then someone squeezed her hand. She looked over expecting to see that it was Lily but it wasn't. It was Remus. Selena smiled at him and he returned it.

"Ok drink these three," Madam Pomfry said handing her more vials.

One, Selena, expected was for pregnancy and another was for sleep, Madam Pomfry had told her that, but what was the other one for.

"Ok, you four need to leave and let Ms. Alexander sleep. You can come visit in the morning."

Remus squeezed her hand again before letting go and the four of them turned to leave. After they left Selena soon drifted off to sleep.

**_Dream _**

_**She was in her room again back when she was eight or so. She was lying on her bed reading a book she had checked out from the library about werewolves. **_

"_**Selena!"**_

_**It was her dad. She tried to hide the book but only dropped it. It hit the floor with a thud. Her dad stood in the doorway.**_

"_**What's this?"**_

_**He walked over to where the book lay and picked it up. He threw it on her bed. He dad came towards her. She looked around the room and her eyes rested on the book. She remembered reading that chapter. She also remembered it filled her with fear.**_

**_End Dream_**

Selena bolted up in her bed. Oh my god! Werewolves mate for life!


	12. Heartrending Fights

She began skimming her mind for information. Think, think, think… Werewolves mate for life whether or not it's a full moon and whether or not they want to… She scolded herself for remembering that, as if she hadn't remembered it, it wouldn't be true. There's a ceremony… a bonding ceremony on the full moon… There was something else. Something important that she was forgetting. Wait there was a potion to stop the bonding.

"Madam Pomfry," she yelled as loud as she could.

A second later Madam Pomfry burst through the doors and rushed over to her looking her over.

" Madam Pomfry, werewolves… mating for life… the bonding ceremony… is there a potion, one to stop it?"

"Yes Ms., Alexander,"

"Have you given it to me?"

"No,"

"Why not?" Selena demanded.

"You won't be given your potion until the day after the full moon,"

"But you have to take it on the full moon for it to work," she said growing impatience

"Yes, I know, Mrs. Alexander"

"But then why are…"

"Because it won't be ready by then,"

They were both silent for a moment. Selena felt the tears raising from deep inside her and tears were never a good sign. Selena pulled the thin blanket tighter around her and rested her eyes on the floor. She tried to concentrate on holding in the tears, but it wasn't working very well. She finally let her gaze rest on Madam Pomfry again.

"Will it work?" Selena finally asked.

"Were not sure,"

Selena broke down. It was the uncertainty of it all that scared her so much. She let her head drop and closed her eyes willing it to all go away.

"Try to get some rest, you will talk to Albus in the morning."

Selena just stared at her. Rest… now… how could she. First she was raped and now she was most likely going to be bound together with the person who did this. She leaned back on her pillow and continued to think long into the morning.

* * *

Selena felt the warm sun on her skin and rubbed her eyes. She sat up and looked around for Madam Pomfry. She wasn't there. Selena crawled out of bed and scrambled to the door. Once on the other side she ran as fast as she could. She didn't know where she was going, she only knew she needed to get away from everything she knew. Selena turned the corner and slid to a halt. She gazed across the grounds and out to the lake. This was where she was before it happened. It reminded her of him and everything she had been told since then. Slowly but surely she began to walk towards the lake. She reached the waters edge and looked at her reflection. She was too preoccupied to notice someone behind her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and spun around in fright. She relaxed once she realized she was facing Remus. She turned back towards the lake and sighed deeply.

"What's wrong," he asked quietly.

"Just thinking,"

"About what,"

"Different things," Selena answered.

She watched the water rippling towards her, then ricocheting off the bank and back towards the middle of the lake. I was almost hypnotic. She relaxed a little and turned back to Remus. He looked tired. The old spark that was usually in his eyes had left him. The full moon was still a week away. Its effects shouldn't take hold this soon. She was really concerned about him. Something was wrong and she wanted to know what it was, but she knew it was his business to tell. She took a deep breath and started to walk. She wasn't amazed to find him follow her. They walked together, not saying a word, but the silence that consumed them was a comforting one. Selena smiled to herself. She dared a sideways glance at him. He was looking at his feet and you could tell he was trying to concentrate on something. His golden hair was hanging loosely in his face and his usually blazing honey golden eyes were now dull and ashy. She turned back and continued to walk. Selena felt a drop of water on her arm.

"Ummm, I think…," but before she could finish suggesting that they head towards the castle the sky broke free and the rain began to pour, and they were caught in the middle of it. The most remarkable part of it all was the fact that the sun was shinning brighter than it had in the last two weeks. Selena turned to Remus and was surprised to find him smiling. He looked up at the sky and back at her looking almost as overwhelmed, but twice as delighted.

"Come on," Remus yelled over the pounding rain, as he grabbed her hand and led her to the nearest tree. Selena could have sworn she saw those old gleaming eyes of his for one moment. She let him lead her and when they reach the pine. They were slightly shielded from the rain and could hear each other better. Selena sat down and watched the rain fall. It wasn't long before Remus settled down beside her. After awhile he broke the silence.

"Why did you run away this morning?"

"Because being in there only reminds me of…," She couldn't finish.

"I knew I would find you down here, Madam Pomfry told me about everything."

"You mean the potion and the bonding and everything," Selena questioned.

"Yes," he said quietly.

The rain had almost stopped and Selena was anxious to get off this topic. She decided to ask him the question that had been bothering her.

"What's wrong," she asked.

"What?"

"Something's wrong and you wont tell,"

"Nothing is wrong,"

"Yes there is now tell me," she demanded.

"No there isn't," he said clearly getting angry.

"There's something now tell me!" she was hoping that maybe he would give up and tell her.

"Do you want to know? It's the fact that the girl I'm in love with is dealing with so much pain and I can't do anything to help. Also the fact the she is going to be bound to another person for the rest of her life and there's nothing I can do to stop it!" he yelled as he turned and stalked off towards the castle. 

Selena was shocked. The tears welled up in her eyes as she pulled her knees close to her and let her head fall to her hands.


	13. No One

Selena cried until she didn't think she would cry any longer. She didn't care about anything anymore. Not herself. Not Remus. Not Lily. She hated everyone that had put her in this position. It was getting dark and she was getting cold. She stumbled to her feet and slowly staggered to the castle. It took her a long time, but she didn't care. She still felt the tears sliding down her cheeks as she walked. Did Remus really mean what he said? She pondered this for quite a while then let it slid from her mind. She walked on towards the castle and before long she reached the castle doors and then shortly after that the common room. She hoped no one would be in there at the time but knowing her luck… She muttered the password and of course gathered around the fire were James, Lily, and Sirius. They fell silent when she entered. She hung her head and continued on to her dorm. When she reached it she flopped down on her bed and surprisingly in seconds she was asleep.

* * *

When she woke the next day it was early, still dark out and she laid in bed contemplating everything that had happened yesterday. She finally stood up and swung her legs over the side of the bed and prepared herself for the day. She looked outside towards the setting moon. It was almost full. Selena hurriedly glanced at her calendar and grimaced. Tonight, the bonding ceremony was tonight. She realized she had been holding her breath and let it out. She glanced outside once more before deciding to head down to the common room and sit by the fire. She grabbed her robe and headed down the stairs.

Of course it was empty. She settled down into on of the worn out couches and listen to the fire. It was the most beautiful time she had ever heard. It was peaceful, and powerful at the same time. How could something so small be so powerful? It was like the moon. The thought gave her chills. She hated that thought, but she couldn't push it put of her head. It sent shivers up her spine yet in an unforgiving sense it calmed her. Tonight her fate was decided and this was something that she hated. It was completely out of her hands, there was nothing she could do to stop it. She felt the heat at the pit of her stomach and she knew the tears were coming again. They welled up in her eyes and she let them. Over the last couple of days she realized crying made her feel better, but somewhere deep down she knew this was different. She couldn't sit there any longer, she had to get out of there. She jumped off the couch and stumbled out the portrait hole not caring where she was going. Before long she was facing a large stone gargoyle.

"Lemon drops," she cried quietly.

The gargoyle moved aside to reveal the staircase. She climbed it and knocked on the oak door.

" Come in,"

She pushed open the door to find Professor Dumbledore sitting at his desk staring intently at her as though he had been waiting all night for her.

"Yes Ms. Alexander,"

At this point it dawned on her, she had no earthly idea why she was here standing in front of him. She decided to make the bast of it.

"What will happen to night?" It was a question she wasn't sure she wanted answered.

"To be honest I am not quite sure,"

This scared her more than anything had in the past two weeks. They didn't know what was going to happen tonight. No one knew.


	14. Us

Selena had been roaming the hallways for the last two hours thinking of anything but Remus. She still had yet to believe what he had said was true. It couldn't be she told herself. Why would someone like him care about me? Much less love me!

She tried to concentrate on school, or even singing, but somehow her mind kept wondering back to him. He was too good for her. Her life had been a living hell and she wasn't about to drag him into it. He had to many things going on already. She had also been thinking about tonight. It would be the full moon and no one knew what would truly happen. They had told her not to think about it, but she couldn't help it.

Lucius had been doing detention since last night and she had heard rumors about him getting expelled, but Dumbledore couldn't even bring up the subject until at least tomorrow morning because of his role in tonight's occasion.

She walked to the edge of the lake absorbing the sunlight and everything around her. She started thinking once again of the day Remus and her had talked there. Thinking of him made her feel horrible. She had been avoiding him all day. She had missed classes, with Dumbledore's permission of course, and had been taking the corridors in the directions opposite of his classrooms as so not to accidentally run into him in the hall. But she knew that she would have to face him sooner or later. She sat down beside the lake, took off her shoes, and dipped her feet into the chilly, yet refreshing water. After a while she decided to walk back towards the common room and perhaps take a short nap before tonight. She bundled up her shoes and socks and took off her robe before proceeding to the dorm. She muttered "Chocolate frogs" and hoped that the common room would be empty. This time her wish wasn't answered. She considered turning back when she noticed Remus sitting on the couch next to the fire. He had obviously been waiting for her. She rushed across the room and up the stairs taking them two by two before he had even got up from the couch. She grasped the door handle ready to retreat to the seclusion of her dorm.

"You've been avoiding me,"

A long silence consumed the room.

"Shouldn't you be in class," she knew it was stupid, but it was all she could think of to say.

"I don't believe we should be discussing classes at this point in time, but if you really want to know Dumbledore let me have the day off,"

'Great' she thought to herself. She dropped her stuff in front of the door and slowly walked back down the stairs. She then slumped down onto the couch, and stared aimlessly into the fire.

"Selena… talk to me, please," he pleaded, before taking a seat next to her on the couch.

She didn't know what to say. All she knew was the anger at Lucius, the uncertainty of tonight, the pain she was feeling because of Remus was threatening to break loose and as much as she tried to keep it locked inside she couldn't, not anymore.

The tears streamed down her face and she rested her head on her knees, needing security from everything around her. Remus was quick to wrap his arms around her and she welcomed his warmth. She rested her head on his shoulder and cried, for her parents, her past, and for the fact that she realized for the first time someone had excepted her and she was just now beginning to believe it. Finally after what seemed like forever the tears ceased. She didn't want to leave Remus's comforting embrace, but she knew she had to. She leaned back a little so she could look into his eyes.

She smiled a weak smile before speaking. "Now your shirts all wet" She laughed slightly, but then stopped.

He didn't laugh, he just stared at her like before. She was getting the giddy feeling like he was seeing inside of her and before she knew it he had leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. She kissed him back, but then that feeling of uncertainty pushed its way to the front of her mind.

She pulled back and on seeing the hurt expression on his face she tried to explain.

"I don't know what is going to happen tonight. And what if something goes wrong, what if I am bound with _him_? Then what? I can't do this, not right now… Not without knowing what awaits us tonight."

She could once again feel the burning feeling at the pit of her stomach. A single tear rolled down her cheek, but he reached up and brushed it away.

"Shhh…," he whispered as he put a finger to her lips. "I understand,"

She leaned her head in his shoulder and before long they both fell asleep.


End file.
